For my mother,
I am her,
and all the mothers,
who try every day with their
gentle and sacred intentions.

Do you find yourself bending over backwards for others?

One can amid mothering is no walk in the park, yet we rarely intentionally move away from the practice of motherhood to re-connect, evaluate and restore. Not for the least because motherhood feels like a train ride with no stops. Yet to be present as a mother we need not only to nurture, but also set clear boundaries, teach and be a role model for movement of self. They look at you, to learn how to talk to self, be with self in the comfortable and uncomfortable times. It serves them as much as it serves you if you take time. So take time, all the time you need.

The first practice is a guided mediation in which we encounter a wise and confident version of self. Consider it a brain massage, via the soft tones, and brainwaves music that bring you in an ultra relaxed state. It brings your mind in a theta state, and for some it even helps them fall asleep.

This is a magical state to be in. This restores your mind, where you can pick your brain, and get acces to valuable information about your wants, needs, fears, memories and most of the answers you seek. It helps you ground into the mother you envision to be. The mother you authentically intend to be, not the mother you are told to be, or others expect you to be. Because the chances are slim that you can sustain a mother role that doesn’t come from your heart. That way you create a bigger chance of slipping into a trauma response in the interaction with your children.

An important note is that it is okay if you deal with trauma and trauma responses. You seeking a solution it this time, means you are showing up the best way you can at this moment. No one is helped with you blaming yourself for not living up to your or society’s expectations of motherhood and no one benefits from you holding on to guilt or you punishing that traumatized part of self. It is via this meditation you learn to better connect to the part of self that isn’t traumatized. The part of self that is calm, confident and has all needs met.

Meditation Journal

Listen to the meditation; THE SELF, that will help you bring awareness into the present moment and give you a peak into your most authentic self. Afterwards answer these journal prompts.

What came up for you during this meditation?

How would you describe your authentic self?

What about your authentic self felt already present?

Where did you feel a gap?

What could you practice today to close that gap?

If you meditated, yay! That is one win for you today. If you want to take the confidence and calmness of this self into your day to day. Seek an intentional object to help you recconnect to this feeling of inner calm, you are currently experiencing or the visual you saw of your intended self - how you wish to move, be in this world. Sometimes seeing or thinking of a future projection of yourself or a projection of what you could be, can be enough to help you snap out of a spiraling or panicky mind, or an emotional state where you feel overwhelmed with the present moment. Almost as an anchor of self.

However if the emotion is bigger than that, start with the waves.

Any mother knows, the transition of becoming a mother starts before you give birth to a baby. For some it even starts when they follow up on their desire to conceive. You change your behaviour, bring more focus to what you put into your body, your daily routine and often times start acting more responsible then you were before. In partnerships the relation tends to get more intimate and dynamic start to shift. There is a lot that is changing before the baby arrives, we often put focus on the physical and material needs that need to be met, but the emotional and intellect sometimes need more attention and compassion as we expect it to work as properly as we are usesd to it although studies show that brains actually change when a woman becomes a mother. Making our emotional well being and intellectual I help women with the transformation of becoming a mother and mothers with the transition into women with child. Read all the books but take their wisdom in as suggestions not as absolute truth. Take in their knowledge as tools, reminders even, to embody what you intended.

How was your journey of conceiving? Expand on this?
What emotions, thoughts, physical situations have come up when you were in the process of conception?

How are you feeling about those now?

Is there anything that needs to heal or needs a place of acceptance? If so take this through the meditation the waves.

What was your expectation of
What did you visualize when you 
What was your focus in your visualzation ; organized logistics 
Do you describe yourself characteristics you do not have now 
Take note of the ideas you are subscribing to yourself in the role as a mother before you have had the experience of holding your child. We will come back to these ideas and notions of yourself later in the practice. 
Your expectations are most important as to how satisfied you feel. If you had higher expectant than realisty you will feel dissapoint or even shame. 
When the you will feel satisfied 
But when the reality outweighed your exceptions you will be over the moon. 
These expectations can vary from how you think you will feel right after birth.
But nevertheless it does not serve to hold low expectations, because our mind is so clever it will try its best to see this expectation is met.

Therefor before tuning into the meditation, you’ll answer these journal prompts
When you imagine yourself giving birth what thoughts come up? 
When you think of yourself as a mother, what traits especially come up for you?
Are you insecure about anything in preparation, during or after giving birth?
Now write soothing words/ mantra’s that empower you and make you feel in control.

Exemplary mantra’s 

• I am peaceful as I give birth to my child.

• With every breath I’m expanding my body.

• I’m opening up to welcome you in my arms. 

• I’m strong enough to expand to as much space as you need. 

• Both my mind and body are flexible and open enough to make way for you to be born peacefully. 

Listen to the meditation below and answer the journal prompts after.

Journal prompts after listening to: Baby, oh baby!
What needs came up for you during this meditation ?
What kind of nourishment is your body craving ?
Any thoughts around resting, slowing down ? 
Anything else that came up for you? 

As a mother, I cannot know who you are by giving birth to you. I give you a name, I hold your heart, I feed your belly. But you, you show me who you are, you teach me what you like, and ask for what you need. I am here listening and opening up - growing my heart to hold you physically, emotionally and spiritually to learn how to care for you the best way I can that is in alignment with what you need.