An ode to woman: Gloria Steinem

Normally I’m not a big fan of writing about a public person after they passed. I feel like it's the epitome of the parasocial relationship, thinking you know someone you don’t, caring for and thinking of them as if you do. I have always found it a pathetic thing, putting someone on a pedestal who doesn’t even know you exist. Yet in this particular case I really want to write a little homage, because it’s the activism and words of this woman that helped me create a funnel for myself. She lit my torch, that is what she did for women all over the world. A lot of what I learned from her works made me start this little project: a self care practice I return to, a way to understand the world and myself in it and importantly nurtures my self-esteem.

In Revolution from within she writes about how the self-esteem of women and marginalized groups is impacted by our childhood experiences, education and beauty standards. And how all the external influences chip away at something that is our birthright; to feel worthy at our core. Especially women and marginalized groups identify themselves, and are impacted by the patriarchal standards our society relies on. She calls to cut lose the identification with a situation or experience or role, especially as a woman. You’re not only a mother, a wife or something else in service of building, creating and holding the happiness and success of other people. Even if we take on that role so often and so well. Every time I find myself around women, I am being taking care of. Women nurture others so seamlessly effortless, almost as if we have been generationally trained to do so.

“A feminist is anyone who recognizes the equality and full humanity of women and men.”
― Gloria Steinem

“Instead of either/or, I discovered a whole world of and.” These words made me explore how I defined myself. I learned how my definitions of myself kept me stuck in loops. Situations reoccurred in (for example) the workplace where I would feel inferior to my peers. Not because I was less worthy, or less educated but because my judgement and identification with cultural and economic poverty (this is not objectively so, but how it is seen in Western society and in the media) made me feel lesser than. It made me work twice as hard as an adolescent and eager to prove I was in fact worthy of sitting at the table. Yet even when I had my seat, the need to prove and the idea I was an imposter kept playing in my mind like a mantra. This is how I was explored the idea of redefining yourself. In playful ways like how David Bowie kept reinventing himself as an artist. Yet it was more than trying on new outfits and trying new things that are so ‘unlike you’. I turned to introspection, journaling and hypnosis by meditation to take a closer look at my ideas and thoughts about myself. The meditation of parts of self came to be. It was a tool I created to cut loose from inferior beliefs I carried around.

Inclusive feminist

The ways she has inspired It‘s a Dialogue isn’t the only reason for my appreciation of her.

Gloria Steinem was one of the few feminists in her day that truly understood the connection between sexism and racism. She brought together diverse groups and understood the importance of linking arms with Black women in the fight for equality. She supported Black women in politics back in the seventies.

“Feminism has never been about getting a job for one woman. It's about making life more fair for women everywhere. It's not about a piece of the existing pie; there are too many of us for that. It's about baking a new pie.”
― Gloria Steinem

She understood the importance and effect the ecomonic class have on people. One’s socio-economic background is a big influence in the possibility of strategizing your life. Poor people are continuously in fight or flight mode - basically running on the amygdala due to chronic stress, instead of the prefrontal cortex, the part of our brain that is responsible for executive functioning, planning and all the logical and sensible stuff. Operating from that part of your brain is a privilege of wellbeing and being wealthy enough to sustain yourself and your loved ones. The privilege of wellbeing helps people to form ideas and dreams into a strategy and a long term plan to make that idea a reality. This is simply not accessible to everyone and it’s not the fault of the individual, but of a flawed system. Gloria not only understood that, she made sure to speak up for all the groups affected by that system.

“Planning ahead is a measure of class. The rich and even the middle class plan for future generations, but the poor can plan ahead only a few weeks or days.”
― Gloria Steinem

The activist, journalist and feminist passed away at 92 years old. May she rest in peace, whilst we move forward and create more and more light using the torches she lit for us.

“People now ask me if I'm passing the torch. I always explain that no, I'm keeping my torch, thank you very much. And I'm using it to light the torches of others.

Because the truth is that the old image of one person with a torch is part of the problem, not the solution. We each need a torch if we are to see where we're going.

And together, we create so much more light.”

Recommendations:

If you have little girls you’d want inspire I recommend this book:

Little people, BIG DREAMS: Gloria Steinem.

If you want to be inspired in how you can make an impact for the good yourself

Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions

Love always,

Daphny