How to cope with existence: learn splits

I have this strategy: it’s 5 years, 1 year, 3-6 months. I think of something I aspire to have/be/do in five years. A house renovation, a long awaited vacation or a job promotion. Than add something that would presumably take a year to complete, learn, get or start up. The one year thing is something of substance like learning sign language, or another skill that really means something to you or what gets you ahead in life. And at last there is the 3-6 months thing. This is about finding a perfect vintage couch, and in the meantime become a Vinted-pro, or in my case: learn the splits.

Green flag escapism

The 3-6 months project is a top-notch technique for distracting yourself from the dumpster fire that’s life, by obsessing over something small, new and completely pointless. Pick a trick, something fun, something futile, something with zero stakes. Even if you never actually land it, you'll be fine, because you have no real emotional attachment to whether you can do a backflip off a couch.

Pick something as far removed from your life as possible. Nothing career-related. Nothing creative or personal growth-y that feels heavy. And absolutely nothing tied to beauty standards for your body.

The line here is thinner than you would think. Training for a bigger butt? Nope. Learning to twerk? That’s more like it.

The first one is basically guaranteed to bring up your insecurities eventually, and that's not on you. That's biology, a bigger booty has historically been read as a fertility billboard, a memo that says: I would probably ace childbirth. The second one though? Just a party trick. Deeply satisfying if you nail it, but if you don't, no-one blinks an eye, you’re just dancing. Living la vida, without the loca.

The perfect distraction trick:

  • Easy to practice

  • Easy to measure your progress

  • Extremely low stakes to your sense of self-worth

  • Releasing some dopamine, endorphins whenever you’re getting busy with it.

  • Makes no sense to anyone (yourself included)

  • Makes you smile when you get to do it

Some examples might be

  • Learn to twerk

  • Handstands

  • Knit or crochet

  • A trick on a skateboard

  • Do splits

  • Reading challenge (an x number of books in x time)

  • Speed puzzling (this is a thing, in the niches of the internet and I’m interested :))

If done well these little niche projects work great in social settings too. Perfect conversation starters at a party or the office. If you’re bad at small talk, you can easily just throw in a : ‘you know what’s fun?!’ And before you know it your either in a fun little chat about hobby’s, mobility in old age and how to stick to a routine, orrrr people give you a blank stare and the sound of crickets, because they don’t understand what you’ve just said. When you just braindumped your little obsession (sans intro).

Whatever way it pans out. You brought a little randomly weird and silly into the world and that’s always a good thing.

Love always,

DaphnyComment