Laissez-faire in foreign places

If 2025 has taught me anything it's that I am the whole village. I was waiting for a community to pop up, like the family I had growing up (both on my mother's side and dad's side). There would be lots of parties and every weekend was like a Christmas dinner, but it was just my mom, aunts and cousins at granny's house. Or my dad and his siblings, my cousins at my grandma's house.

It was always loud and full of everything. Everybody yelled to get heard. Mostly remember the laughter, the joy, playing games and dancing, falling a sleep on a chair or being carried to someone’s bedroom. Until the adults felt it was time to leave, me and my cousins would run around and play all sorts of fantasy games or rehearse our own broadway show. I ordered my family to watch me do gymnastics on nineties RnB and listen to my presentations on a niche interest, it was a vibe.

Another fig out of Sylvia’s tree

I feel nostalgic for those days, and tried to recreate my core childhood memories for my own offspring. But I can’t remake a big family of 14 uncles and aunts co-parenting you, and make cousins feel like siblings, and have them play outside every week with their cousins getting into mischief. Everyone branched out. Instead of sulking over things I cannot change, I’d rather pick another ripe fig out of Sylvia’s tree: the privilege of going places.

Travel equals luxury to me and I place it last on my list. Something I only do if I've got all the other boxes checked off. Much like investing, it's a rich people thing, I figured. Staying home and making memories with the village always wás the point. Now there is no village, so I want my kids to experience the freedom of going wherever they want to go, whenever they want.

Hopefully I'm able to give them something while I'm learning it as I go: to appreciate and make use of the freedom we have (it's not a given), and to experience the unknown as a positive.

I read somewhere that people who are good at taking risks (and have a higher chance of succeeding in whatever they aim for) are the people who experience uncertainty as an adventure rather than something scary. Besides, with ADHD characteristics, change of scenery and new things spark joy and focus. So this challenge might be helpful on a mental level too.

We’ll do it for the plot

As I research how to go about it, I've been asking around and talking about it a lot. Sharing my ideas with other people helps me to eventually see them through.

Here's what I've already came up with:

- Taking the train to a city and staying there overnight.

- Simply driving just across the border to stroll in a random city for a day and maybe eat a store-bought lunch on a bench near a landmark.

When I was younger my dad took me to London once and Paris another time. He could afford the bus ride and that was about it. Over there we just strolled the city, viewed the sights from outside (couldn't afford to visit any landmarks), but just being there is the memory that lives on. His whole let's just get there for the sake of being there attitude made these trips possible. Had he held himself up to a traditional holiday standard or (even worse) the idyllic images we share online, we would’ve never! I think it's time to live a little more like I was taught. Let’s do it for the plot.

Love always,

Daphny