Get in loser, we're ditching frenemies

People can be incredibly cruel and petty. Some seem to excel at finding your vulnerabilities and aiming their darts directly at them, preferably wrapped in silky packaging with a pink ribbon tied around it. You know the type. "Oh, but it's just my personal perspective. I meant you no harm at all, and honestly, I think it could benefit you in the long run." Meanwhile, the shade thrown is darker than dark matter, and it threatens to swallow you whole.

Even though social cues, sarcasm, and other friendship etiquettes are often lost on me, I have a radar for frenemies. Friends who belittle you, or start to when you or something in your life changes for the better. They might say they love you, but they love to hate you even more. Snarky comments disguised as jokes, all meant to bring you down.

I have zero tolerance for these types of venomous sentiments. It screams insecurity that needs to be addressed in therapy, ASAP. Instead of them telling you what they actually feel: ‘I'm afraid I'm losing you, now you have the means to do stuff I could never afford.’ ‘Guys like you way better than me and I feel so ugly around you,’ or ‘I' miss your presence now that you have this new person in your life.’ Their inability to tell what’s really bothering or hurting them, stands in the way of feeling safe around them. It's hard to show your cards around them because they might throw them in your face one day.

OMG, your bum looks so good, I want it too!

I like people who are brutally honest when giving a compliment and gentle when giving criticism, not mean, never mean. We say things like, "OMG, your bum looks so good, I wish I could date you," or ‘I think you could do better, but if he makes you happy now, you might as well enjoy it.’ It's with these women that genuine connection happens, all my friends fall into this category obviously. The kind where celebration replaces competition, and support drowns out spite.

There is no point to this story, just wanted to say: be kind to people, especially the ones closest to you.

Love always,

Daphny

Disclaimer: this post was inspired after reading an essay that reeked of jealousy and personal spite towards the authors close friends. Might be completely mistaken, but I really felt the urge to react.