You don't have to make the right decision, make the decision right

Last winter I hosted a dialogue at the table on metamorphosis, because I felt I was in the midst of one. The only thing was, I couldn't tell what I was moving towards. Here we are, six months later, and three things have happened. I am now regularly hosting intimate conversational dinners with strangers and acquaintances. These gatherings bring out the best in me. Where I normally am chaotic or feel uncomfortable reaching out to people, with Dialogue at the Table it feels very natural to approach people on the street, acquaintances, or anyone that gives off the vibe, really. Secondly, I brought this baby back to life with new articles and a new design. And thirdly, the most notable shift, is the one I will be making in my career. Starting next month I will go back to school to become a kindergarten teacher.

This shift is not made on a whim. For the past years I've felt the urge to do something other than work as a marketeer and copywriter. Once upon a time in my faraway imaginary fairytale I wanted to be a fashion journalist, than life happend and I found myself writing captivating stories on food and wood. It took me a second to realize that I found myself in a career that I didn't dream about nor what I had envisioned for myself, but by going forward as it was, this is the career I would be choosing. Everything you don’t change, you are choosing.  Writing is still one of my greatest passions, but unfortunately writing on topics that are dear to me has proven to be nearly impossible. Which left me with the option to settle for a career where I would use my creativity in a commercial way, which made me unhappy. Or look for other possibilities that would leave enough ease and mental space to do what I love, like hosting dinners and writing.

The ethical split

So I went back to the drawing board and pinpointed what made me happy and what I find important. I wanted my personality traits to be an asset instead of a burden, my empathy, playfulness, patience and overall sensitivity. I love being around children and find them far more interesting than adults. The conversations you can have with children are so vivid, full of joy and fantasy. It feels very natural to me. So it was clear I wanted to work with children, and after doing some research on it and making financial calculations (because unfortunately it earns less), I knew it was time. The idea is that I will be working in a field that I love and that will leave me enough time to be creative in a way that fuels me. Writing without restrictions and building the community around It's a Dialogue that I envisioned when I started in 2018.

In my opinion, this is the new enriched life: to be able to afford a comfortable living that leaves enough space to do things you are most passionate about. Let’s face it, the ideal of making a comfortable living with original and unrestricted creative work is like winning the lottery. It might happen for some, but most creatives will end up having to work in a more corporate place which is actually not suited to their creative needs. This ethical split that most creatives struggle with was mentioned in a Dutch podcast I listened to recently. The dilemma of passion versus practicality is something many of us face.

As comedian Bo Burnham said it very well in this interview:

"I would say don't take advice from people like me who have gotten very lucky. We're very biased. You know, like Taylor Swift telling you to follow your dreams is like a lottery winner telling you, 'Liquidize your assets; buy Powerball tickets - it works!'" - Bo Burnham

Is this the new way for a professional creative to be creative?

I wonder if this new way of looking at your career versus using your creativity in the way that pleases yourself will become more mainstream. Instead of settling for the less dreamed of version of your day-to-day job, choosing to do a job that is meaningful and doing the thing you dreamed of doing on the side. The benefit of this reorganization for me is that I won't need to make money off my passion projects, and I won't have to explain myself to clients or advertisers, but I will be able to invest time and some money in things that give my life meaning.

It isn't even that original to be honest. Working a job that pays your bills and supports your creative splurges has been a way of life for many creatives before. But with social media, it often looks as if being in the arts is only worthwhile if you give it your all. Even though financially it often won't suffice if you want to buy a house, start a family, and have an overall secure set-up. The creative field is struggling, and only some lucky ones find a reasonable setup. To succeed you need: 1) to be really good at what you do, original, and be that in the exact right moment, and 2) to have some luck to get picked up by an audience or the right people.

For me neither was the case, and I could be forever sad about it, like I initially was. Because not succeeding in the creative aspirations of my thirteen year old self felt like I wasn't succeeding in life. As if I was inadequate to do the one thing I was born to do. That is until I grew out of that main character syndrome and realized I was not the one percent that could not make it, but rather part of the 99 percent that won't succeed.

Another positive side effect is that I am not identifying myself with my job title as much as I did, leaving me with all the more room to be. And how poetic is it that It's a Dialogue, the creative endeavor I started out of longing to redefine various roles and objects we identify ourselves with for better or worse, is the one thing I can now freely do, by redefining my relation to being a creative professional.

Love always,

Daphny